Ruminations on the Bookstore

bookstoreI think that I shall never adore, a place as lovely as a bookstore. Okay, maybe that doesn’t roll from the tongue as easily as Kilmer, but the sentiment is just as heartfelt and true. Technology is killing off bookstores like a plague, sweeping through the landscape with an indifference reserved for the most trivial things. But these are not trivial things, these are the hallowed houses of the written word where the most heartbreaking, the most sublime, the most fundamental stories are held and told. A bookstore isn’t just a point of retail as it has been so callously reduced by the scourge of the Kindle and all of its ilk. The bookstore is a place to escape, to learn, a sacred sanctuary for literary repose that must be experienced at least once by everybody and anybody who considers themselves a civilized human being. (more…)

On Drinking The Cheap Stuff

whiskey cocktailWine, beer, whiskey; pick your poison. You just don’t need to spend large amounts of money to do so. There are some staggering misconceptions about the quality of your alcohol as it relates to the price you pay for it. Yes, there are bad brands out there that cost very little money and, yes you will pay the price for it the next day.

Cheap vodka and cheap champagne are both particularly notorious for causing those kinds of bad hangovers where all you want to do is crawl into a dark hole and promise whatever deity you call your own that you will never touch the stuff again. Only to break that promise just a few short days later. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find inexpensive brands that taste good and won’t wreak havoc on you the morning after. (more…)

My Man and his Watch

G-Shock GA110 WatchI’m what some people might call a tough broad. I have my feminine side obviously – have you seen me do a strip tease lately? But I’ve lived a pretty intense and awesome life. I’ve seen things no woman is supposed to see, just like in that song. I’ve worked drab jobs and dream jobs. I’ve traveled to galaxies far, far away and I’ve walked through war zones in the bad section of town. The places where good girls always don’t go and bad girls don’t always come back. I have called some of the most beautiful cities in the world home, and I’ve lived in places where I couldn’t wait to get the hell out.

I like my liquor. I know a lot about good beer and bad beer and there isn’t a whiskey around that I haven’t been to bed with at least once. Some of them even got a return invitation to my boudoir.

I’m still writing that novella that won’t ever seem to let me complete it. I don’t know why it has chosen to be so elusive. We’d been getting along for awhile, but then it made me kill off two of my favorite characters. Unfortunately, they were the only two characters in the book thus far and we were up to eighteen pages in length. So the short story was indeed short, even though there was so much more to say.

It takes a tough man to keep up with me but Keith put serious dedication into the task. Trust me, I made it pretty hard for him. Broke up with him twice. Bailed out on him at a club one night and he didn’t call me for three weeks. I was sure I was rid of him, but like a bad penny he turned up at my doorstep once again. I made love to him three times that night. It was the least I could do. That’s my Keith, my bad penny. I keep him around now. Even let him put a damn ring on my finger and we moved down to Nashville. Home of the best damn music ever made.

My man needs to have a few things if he’s going to be mine. He needs to know how to drink. He needs to know how to handle a gun. My man needs to know he will never win with me but he can always keep on trying. He needs to know how to be creative. He had better be a reader. My man loves dogs. He had also better wear a man’s watch. My Keith is not wearing some fancy dainty thing, he better have something big and thick. A tactical watch. Like the one I bought him as an engagement gift. Girls, if your man isn’t wearing a tactical watch, then check these out. Find him the timepiece that shows off his masculinity. If he’s a rugged type like my Keith, I can guarantee he’ll love it.

Some Songs Work. Some Songs Don’t.

burlesque musicThe choreography is never right. But I continue to keep at it. Burlesque is equal parts music and performer. Perfectionists such as myself have battled this combination for as long as time itself. Your skill as a dancer is never up to snuff. Some songs work, some songs don’t. The music is what brings them into the story, you are the one who keeps them within it. If the combination isn’t working, then one of you isn’t doing your job correctly. The right song can make or break your routine. Sometimes the right song simply does not exist. I have a diverse library of records, CD’s, music I keep on my hard drives, in my iPod. Old, new, timeless. Sometimes none of it works.

Then there are the songs that will always inspire me. They may not always be the songs that are right for the act, but they are building blocks to something else spectacular. Or a spectacular failure. I’ve experienced both. You can design, create, break it down and build it back up again. This can take weeks, months. All that work, all that self-doubt, all that success in the rehearsal. None of it works on stage. Those songs are never re-visited ever again. You know which song I thought would be perfect? Big Spender by Shirley Bassey. An old classic, right? Should be a no-brainer. But I realized the old classics don’t always get the audience engaged. It’s tired on it’s own. The execution is in the performer. Look, it’s not Shirley’s fault, it’s mine. I didn’t bring enough to the performance. Not enough tease, not enough imagination.  I’ll never use it again. But does it get me thinking about other songs? That it does.

The routines I’ve been developing lately are all solo works. Nothing comprising an entire show yet. Besides all of this is being done in the privacy of my own room. I’m not taking it on the road at the moment. But the music has me. The ideas have been flowing through my psyche, my very soul, and I can’t get certain songs out of my head. These are the ones that demand to be heard, forcing themselves upon me until I do what they want me to do. Create. Perform. Give everything I have until there’s nothing left but the applause.

Here are some of the best offenders that I can’t get out of my head:

The Cramps – Queen of Pain

Rigor Mortis – TittyShaker Sleazy

The Hollywood Vines – Cruisin

Ace Kefford Stand – For Your Love

Rezurex – Don’t Mess With Me

The Bikinis – Bikini

The Instrumentals – Are You Nervous?

The Twiliters – Shakin All Over

Jack Hammer – Wiggling Fool

Edgar Allan and the Po’ Boys – Panic Button

You’ve never heard of these, but if you have, then maybe I’d like to dance just for you. You have good taste and I like other humans with good taste. Give them a try, you can find most of them on YouTube or iTunes. Expand your horizons and listen to these songs. This is real music. Real good music.

Haunted Chicago

hauntedI was in line for a movie over the weekend where I met a police officer from California. He was here with his wife and they had been spending the day visiting some of the haunted areas of this fine city, with its rich history of murder, tragedy, gangsters, and serial killers. Chicago has more than a few locations where many claim to have seen some kind of spirit or apparition in attendance. I guess you have to believe in such things in order to see them. I know a lot of people who don’t believe in ghosts. Those people think there is always a rational, scientific way to explain weird phenomenon. It’s a coincidence or a trick of the light or anything but an actual ghost floating along the upstairs hallway or in the attic.

I, on the other hand, believe in ghosts. Why not? I’m quite sure there’s a spirit world that exists. Do I have proof of this? No sir, I do not, but that does not mean it’s not there. I have never seen an actual ghost appear before my eyes but I have a few friends who claim they have. I had one friend who claimed her old home in Connecticut had a strange wispy woman living in it. She would see her ghostly form hovering by her bed some nights. The ghost never appeared angry or threatening, it just sort of looked at her curiously and then moved along.

I don’t know that I would still be living in the house if I saw that, but it didn’t seem to faze my friend. She lived there much of her young life and even into her adult years she would still go back to see her parents who remained in the same home. Neither one of them ever saw any ghosts and my friend says she never told them about it, she didn’t think they would believe her. But there are many places in Chicago that people claim are haunted, either by way of a hard sell to tourists or through long-standing folklore. Some of the places you hear about are just too obvious. Like Calvary Cemetery in Evanston.

Both locals and paranormal experts say there’s a ghost named Seaweed Charlie who wanders in at night. Well, of course he does… Then there are the places that have historic significance. Some of these places I’ve actually been, and never once seen or heard anything odd. No objects moving on their own, no strange lights or cold sensations. The Eastland River area where that steamship rolled over, killing hundreds. People claim that part of the water is haunted by the perished. The Excalibur nightclub, where many of the ship’s dead were brought, the facility used as a makeshift morgue back then.

Also has a reputation for being haunted. The original building burned down in the Great Fire, killing more unfortunates so the building that currently stands in it’s place has two connections to why strange things happen. They even hold seances there now from time to time. The Museum of Science and Industry allegedly attracts ghosts of people who died during the 1893 World’s Fair, since the structure is the last remaining building left. The most interesting perhaps, is the Congress Hotel. Famous for all kinds of horrific tragedies and murders. Al Capone used to dine there a lot. The staff still to this day claim to see and hear unexplained things, many of them committed by the ghosts of the people who met their unfortunate end in the hotel.

Do I believe all of these specific stories as much as I believe in the possibility of ghosts. I believe that there are people like me who do believe…and people out there who believe that we will pay various sums of money to visit such places. A cynical view, no doubt. But then ghosts are sometimes good business. Just ask the police officer and his wife from California, who flew all the way here to visit some of them. Because they also believe.

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